Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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