I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
