We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
