He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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