is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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