Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
