There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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