Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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