plz talk dirty to me
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
