You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize