oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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