Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
