Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
