Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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