just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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