I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize