# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
