we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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