I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
