But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
