Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
