there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
