I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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