when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
