I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
