No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
