In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
