When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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