definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
