and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
