Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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