you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
