I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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