I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize