LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
