I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize