So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
