on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Is it because I queefed?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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