Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
