i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
