were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
