I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
