so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
