I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
