I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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