Apparently you make a good broom.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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