It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
