Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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