my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
