If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She needs sedatives and a leash
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
50% drunk capacity currently
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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