I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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