I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
