wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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