if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
