Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Randomize
