he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
