i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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