They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
