i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
